An Opening Rant (in Bullet Points)

“Show them what you’ve got, old timer”

Here’s a list of my most salient points (hyperlinks may clear things up/lead to more questions):

  1. Always listen to your body, not to anyone else.  Your health is up to you, not your doctor/trainer/life coach/guru, and your body is smarter than all of the above combined.
  2. The nervous system controls every process in the body, and Chiropractic care can help keep that communication system stay free of interference.  The body is an entire unit and needs to addressed as such.
  3. True healing comes from within (above-down, inside-out). Nothing external will ever heal (body needs to adapt to it), so stop looking for a magic bullet and saying x, y, or z “cured me”.
  4. Good thoughts, low stress, belief in something greater than yourself, human connection, real food, movement, breath, sleep/naps, and Vitamin D/sun exposure is what the doctor should order 95-99% of the time and must be assessed honestly before looking to guidance from specialists, etc.
  5. Physical training must stimulate physiology, intellect, psychology, emotion, and spirit
  6. Do the basics, very well, every day, and with intent
  7. All injuries are caused by the body’s inability to absorb force (Ask TB12 if you don’t believe me)
  8. The level of disturbance put into your body to heal an injury has to be greater than the level of disturbance which caused the injury


Now, here’s a more exhaustive supplementary list of thoughts that keep me up at night, for no particular reason:

  1. You have permission to think
  2. Don’t overthink
  3. You’ve got this… Just pick something and start
  4. Train at the same emotional level at which you compete/express life, or else training becomes a completely separate (and almost useless) entity
  5. Strength is the limiting factor in all movements
  6. When strength increases, skill increases (without training it). Real training makes you better at everything, raising your ability to adapt.
  7. You still use what you learned in Kindergarten every day.  Same applies to how we learned to move as infants.  5-year-olds move better than almost every adult, and everyday movement/training should try to re-create this.
  8. Don’t confuse body type with effective training
  9. The healthiest populations in the world don’t have gym memberships or trainers. You don’t have to have one either.  Just move.
  10. Ignoring pain in the short-term compounds its effect in the long-term (physically and emotionally)
  11. Being vague is useless
  12. Can’t use age as an excuse.  Body is designed to function for 100+ years.  Hold up your end of the bargain.
  13. You win some, you win some by less
  14. Self-discipline trumps motivation
  15. Stop taking everything so damn seriously
  16. The ball don’t lie
  17. When torn between doing and not doing; do
  18. If sick; fast.  If panicked; breathe.  If sore; move.
  19. Fatty McGee likes the stairs. Why? They’re fun.
  20. If you are healthy, on your feet 8-12 hours/day doing labor/housework, eat real food, get natural sunlight, breathe through your nose, sleep 7-9 hours each night and take short naps during the day, experience real human connection every day, are generally positive, happy, and not stressed, and enjoy a fulfilling sex life, you can probably discard most of this list because you’re already doing it.
  21. The body will always adapt and is created to survive
  22. There’s always a way through, around, under, or over
  23. Messed up? Own it
  24. Best youth athletic training program: play outside until dark, climb stuff, fall down, throw out iPad
  25. Be process-oriented, not result-oriented
  26. A 6-pack isn’t health
  27. You are stronger than you think (unless you aren’t)
  28. Constant, small improvements
  29. Physical training is just a substitute for lots of natural movement
  30. You are designed to move every single day of your life
  31. You can train every day (refer to the previous two)
  32. Every day is leg day (refer to the previous three)
  33. Don’t say no to everything
  34. Don’t be a mouth-breather
  35. What?
  36. F*ck shoes
  37. Passive stretching doesn’t make sense
  38. Slow, long-distance running (for training) doesn’t make sense
  39. 3 sets of 12 doesn’t make sense
  40. Sports aren’t training
  41. Real training is restorative by nature
  42. “A man is as young as his spine”
  43. Care about what the right people think
  44. Walk a lot
  45. Stand the majority of your waking day
  46. Subtract to add
  47. Trust yourself
  48. Ask “why” 5 times and seek root causes
  49. Eat a lot of good fats.  Eating fat doesn’t make you fat.
  50. Don’t spend $300 month on sports lessons for your kid and then feed him/her sh*tty beef and eggs
  51. Being good at a sport doesn’t make someone a good athlete
  52. Move like a baby
  53. Belly-breathe
  54. “There’s rarely a situation a pretty woman can’t fix”
  55. Coffee doesn’t dehydrate you (clearly there’s an upper limit)
  56. Himalayan sea salt on everything #SaltBae
  57. Modern food is made for shelf life, not nutrition. Veggies and meat should go bad in 2-3 days, not months.
  58. Cook 90% of your own meals from scratch
  59. Snake oil probably works better than anything at GNC
  60. Don’t trust someone’s Instagram page
  61. Only dead fish go with the flow
  62. Big Pharma kinda needs you to think you’re sick (keep ’em alive, but don’t let ’em thrive)
  63. Insurance companies don’t understand the healing process
  64. You might be on a watch list if you are still reading this
  65. Unplug
  66. Write a postcard
  67. Attention is your most valuable resource
  68. Adult horseplay is encouraged
  69. Ha
  70. Try stuff before you bash it
  71. For the love of god, don’t be a one-upper
  72. If you want to throw gas, you can’t train like ass
  73. Stronger shoulders, not lighter loads
  74. Don’t trust words, even question actions, but never doubt patterns
  75. Help the underdog
  76. “One must imagine Sisyphus happy”
  77. Deduce
  78. Hamstrings
  79. Agility ladder makes you better at agility ladder. Throwing weighted baseballs makes you better at throwing weighted baseballs. Don’t mess with the skill and try to call it training. Get stronger and you’ll get better at everything, then keep refining the skill.
  80. Sometimes you have to punch dance your anger out in the woods
  81. Read books
  82. You’ll fall to the level of your training, not rise to the level of your dreams
  83. Don’t trust any of this; research it
  84. Research is a liar sometimes (refer above)
  85. How you do anything is how you do everything
  86. You aren’t going to pass out and die during a 24-hour fast
  87. Calm is contagious
  88. Your body doesn’t care about your salary
  89. Hide a $20 in one pocket of every jacket you own
  90. Bring two Halloween costumes in case you strike out with the hottest person at the party
  91. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and 60% of the ones that you do
  92. Don’t jaywalk
  93. Buckle up
  94. If you’re a bird, I’m a bird
  95. The answer is always “no” if you don’t ask
  96. Everything works (until it doesn’t)
  97. When creating a blog: be the resource you wish you had
  98. Pay your dues
  99. Question any process that requires your money
  100. Put your cart back at the supermarket, dude
  101. Don’t be a hero
  102. Double-tap
  103. Drugs are bad, m’kay
  104. “Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever” -Shane “Footsteps” Falco
  105. Scorn the path of least resistance

2 thoughts on “An Opening Rant (in Bullet Points)

  1. Absolutely loved your supplementary list It and the way you instil humour into your writing (even your bullet points!). I totally agree with so many of your points as it is much like the way I try to live my life…. except for hiding $20 in every jacket pocket. Do you know how many jackets I own!!!! (A bit of pathetic humour of my own.)


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